Can Paul Ryan finally get the public behind his dream of overhauling Obamacare?

Can Paul Ryan finally get the public behind his dream of overhauling Obamacare?

As the revised version of the ACHA is being hotly debated in the Senate, Paul Ryan held a press conference in which he defended the bill by reminding the public that anyone can kill themselves at any time for good luck— and that’s more than Obama could ever offer.

Amid frantic complaints from constituents about losing the coverage they depend on to remain alive, Ryan kept a calm demeanor, smiling softly as he advocated for the “God Option,” the name Republicans have affectionally given to the section of the Bill which prays for and wishes luck upon those who end their own life.

“The choice is simple,” Speaker Ryan continued. “Let Obama’s plan give you medical care and take your freedom for the rest of your life, or end it all now and let God grant you serenity for the pain you endured on earth.” With all the luck Republicans are heaping upon their constituents, Ryan was adamant suicide was a “good bet.”

When pressured to reveal whether he himself would be electing the “God Option,” Speaker Ryan was ambiguous and coy, telling reporters, “only God can know what lies ahead.”